IndianMeena

i would like to share with all my friends some of my experiences in india when i was just eighteen years old. in india cooking is very important and my mother often sent me to the shops to buy vegetables and sometimes some extra for me to buy sandals and perfume. i always loved nice smells ans still do, india being so warm meant taking showers often and inbetween showers the heat would sometimes be unbearable, i,d be sweating from head to the soles of my feet, the sandals kept my feet cool and every girl wore them. there was one boy who would watch me as i walked past his group of friends, and comments would be made about my prety looks and sexy body, whistling sounds of approval and wanting me. i felt powerful but also very shy. one day the boy left his friends to come over to talk to me. he gave me chocolates. i was very nervous and being very shy became very tongue tired, just listening to what he had to say. he asked me if we could meet on the weekend, maybe go for a walk in the park, but i knew my mother would never allow this. i remember feeling hot and cold talking to him and even began to sweat too much. i made me excuses that i had to return home or my mother would be worried. he gave his number and asked me if i would call him some time. i said “maybe” and i then turned around and walked away. as i walked away i was aware that all his friends were watching me and probably undressing me with their eyes. i felt embaryssed and shy. i arrived home and my mother asked me if i had seen anyone, i of course said no. i never usualy lied to my parents and told my mother everything, from my first day at school to my first period, and my upset because of it and many other things. despite all this i felt i didn,t want to share this encounter with my mother, incase she and my father stopped me ever seeing this boy again, this boy who made my heart beat faster and gave me butterflies in my stomach. i must admit that i found him very cool, his beutiful dark eyes hypnotised me and i began to think about him all the time, i thought about calling him for a whole week and one day when the house was empty, i went into the kitchen to make tea and just stared at the phone. i decided to dial the number and after the phone rang a few times he answered and i said “hello”, but then my mouth froze and i couldn,t speak.  i had never before spoken to any boy who wasn,t a family member or family friend, i was so shy and nervous but also excited as i flirted with danger. i did however hang up the phone but in doing so realised that he now had my house phone number because he called me straight back, but i didn,t answer. i don,t know why i didn,t answer as i wanted to speak with him, just didn,t know what to say. the phone rang a few times and then stopped. then i had a horrible thought, what if he tried again and my mother or father answered, what could i say? what would they think of me? not long after my father came home from his office. he asked me to make tea for him. i was worried and as i served my father tea and my eyes looked to the floor, he asked me if i,d had a nice day, and also if i knew where my mother was. suddenly then the phone rang and my heart seemed to miss a beat as my father picked up the phone and said “hello”.  i was almost about to die when i realised that it was my mother calling to say she would be home soon. i thanked god and hoped i migt see that boy again so i could please ask him never to call my house line. next day i went to the same shopping mall and at the same time, expecting to see him and explain, but he was not there. i bought the items on my shopping list and feeling dissapointed started to walk towards home. just a few minutes along the road as i looked into a music store, i felt a tap on my shoulder, and as i turned around i saw him standing there before me. he asked if i was ok and also asked if i would like to have kulfi with him. it was very hot and i accepted saying that would be nice. we sat down and ate kulfi together, him not taking his eyes off me, and me looking into my glass as i ate the kulfi. i explained about the house number and my parents dissapproval at me having a boyfriend, and he understood. i also apologised for hanging up the phone that time when i had called him, he just smiled and said no problem. he just stared into my eyes and told me how beutiful i was. i modestly said there were many more beutiful girls than me, but he wouldn,t agree. i was very flattered that such a good looking boy could find me so attractive. as the kulfi touched my lips with the hot sun burning through the shop widow, i felt like i was in heaven in the company of this boy and wished that time could have stood still, but after an hour i knew that i had to leave as i had promised my mother that i would help prepare the evening meal. we were going to be entertaining family and friends. i thanked him for everything and before i left he asked me if we could perhaps do it again, i said “yes” and that i,d had a nice time. i then went home as fast as i could and knew that i would be asked why i had been so long at the shops. when i arrived home i felt very nice and happy, but also very hot and sweaty, and so i undressed and went straight to take a shower. the cool water touched my hot body and i dreamed about the boy who i now knew as rajif. i felt excited as i thought about him touching me and holding me close. i began to tingle all over and as i stepped from the shower so wet i began to dry myself with a soft towell. i then went to help prepare dinner for our family function. that night we had a full house and i recieved many compliments about the dishes i had prepared, as well as compliments at my beutiful long hair i had dyed with henna. my sister had also painted my hands and i kept looking at the beutiful work my sister had done on them.  some of the older guests said that i would make a great wife, and one man who was very respected in mumbai approached my father about an introduction with his son, who was a doctor. i didn,t feel ready for marriage to anyone and when my father asked me if i would like to meet him, i declined. i knew my father was dissappointed. i still loved to be around my mother and even slept in her bed with her sometimes when my father was away on business. i was still a young girl at eighteen and had been very sheltered, but i knew i was growing up, as i was getting more and more attention from men. i began to enjoy the men watching me, knowing that they found me very attractive. i loved to sing and dance and that night i danced all night and sang to our guests. i felt the eyes of some of the male guests upon me, looking at my developing body, my breasts, i was like a butterfly. i knew what they wanted to do to me and i was careful not to make eye contact with anyone, as my fathers eyes were never far away from me and what i was looking at. my father was very proud of me and still is, and both my parents have always loved me so much. i could never dissappoint my father and have always only ever wanted to make him happy. why then could i not stop thinking about rajif ?